Lost

It has been a while since I've posted anything new. I don't know how much actual progress, if any, I've made in this time. 


Yesterday I awoke with a sense of... acceptance. I felt as though I had begun to let go of things that I've been holding onto, allowing them to plague with me with all sorts of negativity. But today, I am not so sure if that acceptance is still here. Sometimes it feels as though I have to kick so hard to stay above the surface. 


I'm trying to focus on other things. Remembering to be thankful. Trying to surround myself with good people and things. Like I've said before, it's a process. Sometimes the direction we travel in is backwards. Thinking seriously about going somewhere, maybe going to teach English or going to stay on an organic farm somewhere. I believe I need to just do something outside of my comfort zone. I'd like to go on a date, never have. No one to do that with. I would like to read more. And I want to go to a museum, see some art.


On another positive note; I am going somewhere this weekend. Derek is taking me somewhere, I think for my birthday. Don't know where or what we'll be doing. But it will be nice to do something different and hang with him. Something to look forward to. Maybe the break will help me find my way back to betterment.