The inconsistency of things is tiring. Haven't been able to sleep well in weeks. And there is this nagging head/chest cold that I just can't kick. Bad news came for me this week and it could in actuality be the second of the third thing to come (assuming that bad things really do happen in threes). It is disappointing to feel like I have made progress only then to suddenly feel like I've taken 10 steps backward. How do we let people get such a strong hold on us?
Keeping busy is best. And trying to not resist the now. Acceptance of what is is crucial in order for me to remain collected. It's just easier said than done sometimes.
It seems people like to misuse words, language. That is unfortunate to me. Instead of just listening and absorbing what one is saying, we must pick apart, criticize and question their sincerity. I must be less trusting but not completely cynical. Balance is the key, need to figure it out. I am not always the one in the wrong, yet I seek out the responsibility for it. Have to stop punishing myself for other's choices.
I am glad Eduardo is no longer suffering, he did for so long. He was such a sweet, funny man. I am happy to have had him in my life. Love to him always.
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