Stand firm

I am not here to please anyone but myself. And although that is admittedly, a struggle and perhaps selfish sounding, it is the only thing that really matters. Ultimately, I'm the only thing I will always have. While I know that the people closest to me have only my best interests at heart and I am forever thankful for that, I am the only one to walk in my own shoes. I don't need to defend my reasoning to anyone. I'm not going to tolerate behavior from friends that goes against any way I would ever treat them. It's not that I suddenly don't care anymore, but I want better than that. 

Honestly, I don't feel like I function the way most people do. But that's just who I am. Caring to a fault. But I know I deserve great things. We all do, really. But, you gotta give in order to get. 

On a completely different note; I am somewhat under the weather. Feel totally wiped out. Sleeping has been difficult for me, even more so than usual. Still house sitting. But between the early rising dogs and the changing weather my body seems to be lacking the proper weapons to fight whatever this is. Plans for the day include: sit, sleep (hopefully) and mayhaps viewing materials to soothe my soul ie: the x-files etc.

The middle finger

Okay, never, is it ever okay to tell your friend 'Fuck you' because you're upset/pissed about something and you want to take it out on them. Especially when the only thing they are trying to do is offer up a shoulder or an ear. If you don't want to talk, then straight up say so instead of being so ridiculously rude. It's unacceptable behavior. How old are we? 12? Grow the fuck up. No one needs a 'friend' like you.

Annnnnnd, END SCENE!

Hmm

In certain situations I'm never sure how to be.  

Friends of mine tell me I crush on celebrities because it's safe, I subconsciously know no harm can come to me from my feelings for these unknowables. Prior to this, I hadn't really considered this as a reason, I really wasn't searching for any kind of explanation at all. But what I'm now questioning, is, if I somehow seek out people in my real life that only will hurt me. Why is this? 

I mean, we all know someone who is also attracted to shitty people right? Or just always ends up in shitty situations, with anything. I have never been one of these people. But I am starting to wonder if I somehow have become one...

Over thinking things never brings me anything good.