Almost been here a week now. It's been...relaxing. The weather has been warm and breezy, sometimes cloudy. The sound of crickets and frogs, the nearby train and the wind in the trees is so refreshing in the evening.
My grandparents decided to partake in my vegetarian lifestyle while i'm here in the effort to lose weight and be more healthy. I've been on them about drinking enough fluids (water), getting enough excercise (been riding bikes!) and eating better. (They are so surprised by my vegetarian food and how good it is- hah!)
I am glad to be away and spending time here with them and my cousins, uncles and aunt. But since i've been away i've come to realize that my past hurt has left me damaged in ways i have greatly feared. It is unfortunately a line of dominoes- one impacting the next and on and on until the entire thing is ruined. I sabotage myself so easily. I've become paralyzed by fear. *sigh*
Mom says practice will get me out of this state of mind- practice will help me to right myself and control my fears again. Even though I know she's right, I'm still not quite sure what all 'practice' entails. I guess we'll see.
California is so beautiful. There are green trees, colorful flowers and vines all over everything. It is something i simply love.
Happy Earth Day to all.
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