I don't understand the motives of people most of the time. Or rather I do, but I can't sympathize or relate. I believe myself to be an observant person. Something just isn't the same lately with a good friend.
And isn't is always the same? You think you know someone...
Do we ever really know anyone? Ourselves even?
When do we stop expecting people to mean what they say? And if someone is upset or whatever with you or at you, as your friend, shouldn't they just come out and tell you? I hate the beating around the bush shit.
I love spending time with people I care about. But more and more I'm finding I just want to do things that sometimes tend to keep me by myself. I'm lonely. But I feel that I will continue to spend more time alone. Like, right now, all I want to do is read Harry Potter and drink beer. Tuesday, the rest of my people bailed on me for quiz, so I went and played by myself. No, it wasn't as fun. Better than sitting at home though I think?
Frustrated at what is currently unknown.
I don't know when it became acceptable to lie, deceive, mislead, misrepresent, or otherwise distort the truth for petty personal gain or temporary comfort, or, why the vast majority of people our age behave that way. Why do I seem to always be punished by others for my honesty, for trying to be direct, and for striving to say exactly what I mean and do what I say I will? The likely explanation: people are insecure, and inherently selfish, cowards. Telling you the truth about what is up, while the thoughtful and decent thing to do if they value your friendship, is hard. Much easier for them to just avoid the issue...
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